Only Connect

What do job searching and raising a child have in common? They both require a village

There’s a great moment in the latest series of Nobody Wants This, the Netflix show about the unlikely love story of up-and-coming rabbi Noah (Adam Brody) and agnostic, irreverent podcast host Joanne (Kristen Bell). In the episode, Noah arrives at the synagogue where he has just accepted a job and is met by two of his new coworkers, who alarm him with their laid-back approach to the Jewish faith. One of them tells Noah “I think rigidity doesn’t bring you closer to God”; the other then piggybacks on this, saying “You know what brings you closer to God? Having an open heart.”

With all due respect to Noah, I think they’ve got a point. Certainly for us Christians, having an open heart – both towards God and towards those around us – is the very essence of our faith. If we’re made in the image of a God who is three persons, all giving to and receiving from each other all the time, then it follows that we’re also meant to live in relationship with each other instead of just forging ahead by ourselves. That’s not really a new concept for me, but it’s one that’s been brought into much sharper focus since I’ve been job searching.

Thinking back to October, there were two things that made the pill of being laid off easier to swallow: one was the fact it happened to a lot of us at the same time, and the other was the level of solidarity that those coworkers who kept their jobs showed us. As soon as we were let go, us new hires decided we didn’t want to face the next weeks and months alone and committed to supporting each other through them. We created a WhatsApp group chat and have hung out regularly since then, all while celebrating each other’s new job offers and sharing any vacancies we’ve seen.

Four newly-minted jobseekers meet for a Tuesday morning coffee, 2025. L-R: Mykee, Chris, meself, Chloe

I think under other circumstances, it might’ve been easier for us to just go our separate ways and gradually become strangers, but the fact this layoff had come out of nowhere, and so soon into our time there, created more of a sense of group membership. This was a Weird Thing, and people who experience the same Weird Thing tend to find that it bonds them. But even back then, we didn’t just feel like a bunch of people who’d lost their jobs together – we felt like friends. Though it had only been a few months, we’d bantered our way through enough office days and spent enough lunch hours together that we knew these connections would last through whatever was next – and that’s exactly what they’ve done.

Meanwhile, everyone else on our floor who heard what had happened was just as shocked and confused as we were, and I had several people message me on LinkedIn during that first week to express their sympathy and offer to help in any way they could. That’s only continued in the months since; everyone I’ve told about my situation has commiserated with me, and many have said they’ll let me know if they spot any suitable vacancies. And while these kind messages and best wishes alone aren’t enough to get me my next job (unfortunately!), they’ve made it a lot easier to keep the fight going when it’s all feeling bleak.

The result of all this is that I’ve come to see more clearly the need for connection with others, especially in times like these. You’d think I’d have learned that after spending a year in an intentional Christian community, but some lessons take a while to sink in – and this might be one of those lessons that sinks in the most during hard times. One of the things that helped us through the Covid-19 pandemic was being able to stay in touch with loved ones during lockdown, via the likes of Zoom and Facebook Messenger. Similarly, I’ve found that when my current situation has me feeling at my lowest, that’s when I need to see my friends, be more present with my parents, show up for my church community, and generally get out of my own space and seek out others. There have been times over the past seven months when all I’ve wanted to do was turn inwards and fixate on my own problems, but I’ve found that that doesn’t solve anything and only leaves me feeling more empty.

It’s not just motivation where this is important. As a jobseeker, the one piece of advice I’m hearing more and more is about connections – it seems like finding a job is as much about who you know as what. If I’m honest, this has felt a bit counterintuitive for me; both of my last two jobs were ones I found by myself, and a lot of the messaging I received about careers growing up was about finding one’s own path and selling oneself to employers as best as possible. On top of that, since most of my career up till now has been spent working remotely, it’s possible I don’t have as many in-person connections as most people my age do. Nonetheless, at a time when roles often receive hundreds of applications, which are all then checked over by a computer before a human ever sees them, it’s clear that having someone at the company who’s prepared to put a good word in for you can make a big difference.

I’ve said before that one of the reasons I wanted out of my first graduate job was about remote working – while my team were all lovely, I couldn’t help but miss the sense of workplace camaraderie that friends of mine with in-person jobs would talk about. Indeed, when I finally got to experience office culture in a full-time role, it was such a refreshing change that it then became one of my red lines when I was forced back onto the job hunt. And although that’s something I’ve since compromised on, it’d still be my preference to work in-person at least some of the time.

I’m not alone in this; in a survey last year, 45% of Gen Z workers said they wanted jobs with more social interaction, with 38% reporting feeling socially isolated in their jobs. While I’m arguably a bit too old to be a Gen Z, this definitely lines up with my own experience and feelings about the workplace. Even though I’ve only had a small taste of office life so far, I’ve come away from it with a renewed appreciation for community and a real sense of how important it is to one’s career. It’s clear that when it comes to job searching, being part of a supportive network makes things feel a lot easier – both professionally and personally.